You have no idea how difficult it was for me to narrow it down to which chapters were my favorites. And I’m really sorry that none of the Breaking Dawn chapters made it in, because I adore Breaking Dawn, but …well, let’s talk.

Honorable Mention – Visions – Midnight Sun

This had to get a mention. It would definitely be vying for the top spot if Midnight Sun was published. This is the scene where Edward comes home to face the music after saving Bella from Tyler’s van and thus potentially endangering the rest of his family. One of my favorite things about Midnight Sun is that it shows how they all work as a family. The love and respect they have for each other, even as they protect their own interests, is apparent. Seeing Jasper’s reasoning behind wanting Bella dead is just a huge point for me given his acceptance later in the book. The look on his face when he realizes Edward will act to stop him if he acts against Bella. “I will. Not. Allow. It.”  GAH. And…of course, Edward having to be told that he’s falling in love with Bella…. Amazing.

Fifth Place – Invitations – Twilight

In the movie Edward has "mood swings" in the book it's a "personality disorder".

I know right? Weird chapter to pick. Here’s the thing. I’m a Bella fan. I love Bella and she doesn’t get enough credit for being amazing. This is the chapter where I fell in love with her. She’s obviously head over heels, much to her own dismay, for this Cullen kid. But she’s also pissed. He’s keeping secrets. He doesn’t trust her. Now he’s popping up everywhere acting all giddy and weird? So she calls him on it. “Do you have a multiple personality disorder?” On the other hand you have Edward who obviously (to us) can’t ignore her any longer now that he hears Mike Newton (and Eric Yorkie and Tyler Crowley) asking Bella out. He’s a little jealous, a little spastic and finally talking to her – albeit cryptically. I love it.

Fourth Place -  Mind Over Matter – Twilight

I know that everyone picks Confessions (the meadow scene), but I love the chapter right after it. Edward is conflicted in the meadow, but here he has accepted (for the time being) that Bella is his. He’s holding her hand as he drives and being honest. We get to hear about how the other Cullens joined the family. We get to see flustered Bella trying to hide the fact that there is a boy in the house, somewhere. And don’t get me started about Edward in her bed with all the nuzzling and caressing. It’s so sensual. I cannot take it.

Third Place – The Truth – New Moon

"I'm here and I love you. I have always loved you and I will always love you."

I think I’ve read New Moon from The Funeral to the end of the book more times than I’ve read Eclipse. It’s just so gorgeous. After Edward figures out that they’re both alive they don’t have time for a proper reunion, instead communicating their emotions by not letting each other go and through tiny caresses. However, this chapter, when Bella finally wakes up with Edward wrapped around her – safe in her bed – owns me. Bella is cautious (and hilarious). Edward is exasperated and just so contrite. He knows he’s messed up bad. For how in love they are and how beautiful their love is – Edward and Bella don’t really go all flowery with each other very often, so Edward’s monolog about ‘Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night,’ packs a heavy punch. On top of it, this chapter contains what has to be my favorite kiss. Edward whispering her name between kisses? Yes. Hungrily grasping at each others faces? Yes, God. Edward and Bella are back and stronger than ever.

Second Place – Compromise – Eclipse

In Twilight, we get to see the beginnings of what Edward and Bella can be. They spend New Moon apart, but in Eclipse they become a truly amazing couple. That’s never more apparent than in Compromise. Here we have two incredibly strong willed people duking it out over their mutual, but dangerous, passion for each other. In any relationship, compromise is a necessity. Edward has strong opinions about how far he can go with Bella and marriage before sex. Bella has strong opinions on her absolute trust for him, her want to be a vampire, and the one thing she wants before she’s turned. It’s a great give and take I think we could all learn from wrapped up with a bit of humor (Edward and Bella are so funny together, I adore them) and a lot of hotness.

First place – Fire and Ice – Eclipse

This scene should not be cut...if it's cut, heads will roll.

Hands. Down. No contest. This is the best chapter in the entire series. Jacob hasn’t been mentioned so far in this list. It’s not that I dislike Jacob. I enjoy the character very much. It’s just that his dynamic with Bella is not the same as Bella and Edward are together. However, in this scene (aka – the tent scene) you have the best of both worlds. It’s Jacob’s love for Bella. It’s Edward’s love for Bella. On top of it is just an outrageously funny situation – and why does Edward not get enough credit for this? I mean, people make him out to be a jealous asshole, but he’s sitting there, in cramped confines with Jacob – who, by the way, is FANTASIZING about kissing Bella (or worse) – while the dog has his arms around his girl – who, for those not keeping up, he desperately wants to steal away. This scene is hilarious because you have Edward gritting his teeth. “Please! Do you mind?!” Then you have this underlying current about how much he actually appreciates Jacob. Edward truly cannot hate anyone that loves and helps Bella. Sigh. It’s…perfect.

So – what are your top five?

Vampire

Okay – here’s the thing. I am not one of these Twilight people who insist it is – OMG teh best thing evr! Stephenie Meyer is a genius in a number of ways, but Twilight is not the best book out there. The movies are enjoyable but neither of them, so far, even makes my top 25 favorite movies list (and before you can berate me, Twi-Hards, I saw Twilight 22 times in the theaters and New Moon 14, so… no worries).

However, if you want to get into a discussion with me, and believe me when I say that I’m not interested in juvenile discussions about Twilight, you’re going to have to use an excuse better than “it sucks”. Of course it does! It’s a vampire series.

::cough::

Vampire

Moving on. What I hear most often is that it sucks because Stephenie has “destroyed” (or any other number of adjectives meaning totally obliterated) real vampires.

Um – excuse me? Real?

Okay. First off, when I say vampire – whatever image pops into your head is not the ‘original’ vampire myth to begin with. Vampires exist across practically all cultures and have been around, in one form or another, for all of recorded history. Everything you see to do with vampires is merely an interpretation of an entirely fictional being.

Let my main man Agent Mulder tell you some more.

Vampire

Mulder: Still, that leaves us in something of a quandary because there are as many different kinds of vampires as there are cultures that fear them. Some don’t even subsist on blood. The Bulgarian Ubour, for example, eats only manure.

Scully: Thank you.

Mulder: To the Serbs, a prime indicator of vampirism is red hair. Some vampires are thought to be eternal. Others are thought to have a life span of only 40 days. Sunlight kills certain vampires while others come and go as they please, day or night.

From the episode Bad Blood

Okay, so, claiming that Twilight sucks because they’re not ‘real’ vampires is not a ‘real’ argument. Vampires are entirely fictional characters. What this means is that it is entirely up to the author how to portray them. Stephenie

Vampire

Meyer could have written that vampires all have purple hair and she would have been well within her creative license loving rights. If she had, it would not have been a good reason to call the series ‘bad’.

Now, how about we work on our communication skills. What you can say, if you’re getting into a discussion with me, is that you don’t care for Stephenie’s vampires. I can understand that. Personally, I don’t care for anyone’s vampires EXCEPT Stephenie’s …and maybe the Count from Sesame Street. For me, most stories that are about vampires, or space men, or werewolves or mutants or whatever other monster you can think of, are just ridiculous.

For me, Stephenie presented Twilight in a way that I could jive with. The story is not about vampires, as most monster-related stores are. It’s about a girl who falls in love with a boy…who just happens to be a vampire. Then, Stephenie proceeds to make vampires realistic to me. A paramount in any story I read is that, if you’re tying to tell me that the story you’re telling exists in this world, is that you make me believe that it could absolutely be real. Let me lay it out for you in a way you Twi-Haters who spout off about bad-ass-ness might understand. The Dark Knight is the best action movie possibly ever because that Joker is so flipping real that I believe he could be out there walking the streets…and that scares the bejesus out of me!

Stephenie presents her vampires in a believable way. If you understand myth at all, you understand that myths

One - One Vampire Ah. Ah. Ah.

occur to explain things we don’t know how to otherwise explain. Hence, if vampires were real, it would only make sense that there would be many myths about them. In this way, Stephenie realistically explains away all of the things that just seemed idiotic to me in other stories. With very few exceptions, all of her vampire traits make biological sense – in that, if a vampire were an animal (for lack of a better term) like every other species on the planet, they’d have natural defenses, lures for prey and the like. Stephenie’s vampires simply make sense. None of this dying because wood hits them through the heart nonsense. And don’t get me started on garlic.

Which brings me back to the original point. Obviously, I don’t care for the…”normal” vampires. For a person like me, the way Stephenie portrays her vamps just adds to the read-ability.

Now, imagine for one second that I was like you Twi-Haters out there. Here’s what I really don’t understand. Why would you pick up a book with pre-conceived notions about what the characters should be like? It seems pretty narrow minded to me to box yourself in and only accept certain characters a certain way. Where’s the variety? The spice in life?

Vampires

It’s like saying you’re going to reject any book with a mother character in it who isn’t exactly like June Cleaver…or Norma Bates, whatever.

Here’s my advice. Go into any book, Twilight, whatever you may be reading, with NO expectations. It isn’t reasonable to expect every author to write the same old characters the same way over and over again. It isn’t reasonable for you to expect an author to write a story that you already know you’re comfortable with.

Honestly – where’s the fun in that?

I’ll tell you this much. If I had let my pre-conceived notions guide me I wouldn’t have ever fallen in love with this series. I don’t like vampire books. I don’t like teenagers in books. I don’t like true love stories. Twilight was all three – but not in any way I’ve seen it before.

Open your mind. No one is saying that you have to like Twilight or anything else you read, but know the difference between when you simply don’t like a certain style and when the writing is, in actuality, bad.

In your always humble opinion.

As a side note – I don’t think Robert Pattinson knows how not to make a case hot. I’ve seen Little Ashes. The boy on boy kissing he does as Salvador Dali – w.o.w. but I’m getting off subject.

There were two kiss scenes in Twilight. There were four in New Moon. Before we move onto the veritable make out fest Eclipse will be (oh, how I wish), let’s see where the kisses rank…for me anyway.

#1 The Happy Birthday Kiss

Why: Oh, let me count the ways. This kiss is one of the few they share that is not carrying some type of weight. This is a kiss for the sake of kissing – because they love and adore each other. The banter leading up to this kiss is playful and teasing – because they’re really such a great couple. Then Edward tilts his head in a move that’s more sexy than I know how to deal with and silences Bella’s teasing with his lips.

They lose themselves in the kiss, playful turning into the intensity that marks every aspect of their relationship. Edward quirks an eyebrow, which is also more sexy than I can handle, and reluctantly backs away.

In other words, this kiss is everything they are – sexy, playful, passionate – and always having to hold back from losing themselves completely.

#2 The First Kiss

Why:  Holy crap. The first time I saw this kiss I was holding my breath. There was Edward, on her bed, in her room, smiling that adorable and adoring little grin. The set up is the perfect mixture of simmering and titillating as he leans in, stilling Bella’s movements with a soft, “Don’t move.” Her eyes are the epitome of want and anticipation. Their lips finally, FINALLY, touch – a soft, sweet kiss. Edward smiles spasticly and their lips touch again. And again. Then her hands are in his hair and there is no question that she’s controlling the kiss now … and going to far. The look on his face as they part for a split second is caught between panic and need. It’s hard to tell if she pulls his down with her or he pushes her down onto the bed but they’re about a split second from a full on make-out session when he says, “Stop!” and suddenly he’s across the room.

Holy crap. It felt like my blood was boiling.

I find it difficult to place the next three kisses. They’re all pretty much equal for me, but let’s see.

#3 The Reunion in Italy Kiss

Why: After being apart for the whole movie, practically, this kiss is the culmination of their passion and the broken pieces of them coming together to make each other whole again. Even as Bella tells Edward she can let him go, you can see it’s the last thing she wants. He confesses to his lies. She wants to believe. He tells her she’s everything and she gives in, tilting her face to his as he leans down to her. The kiss is needy – they are devouring each other. We’ve never seen them this close – as if they would meld into one person if they could. When the camera pulls back we see just how wrapped in each other they are – she’s standing on her tiptoes and he’s pulling her against every line of his body – protective and possessive.

#4 The Forgive Me Kiss

Why: Finally home and safe, Edward has apologized to Bella. He’s on his knees at her bedside, looking up at her with these huge, sad, completely vulnerable eyes. His confession is strangled with honesty, guilt and the fear that she’ll reject him after what he’s done to her. “Come here,” she whispers, bringing his face to hers and kissing him sweetly. Their kisses are tentative, their hands touching each other – hers on his chin and throat, his on her wrists and arm, as if he wants to pull her closer. It’s a tender moment. Of course she can forgive him. His submissive position reflects, again, that their relationship is, as it has always been, in her hands. And, as always, she pulls him up so that they’re equal again. Brilliant camera work.

#5 The Gazebo Kiss

Why: I love this kiss because it’s just so…them. Edward’s eyes are shut tightly as his fingers thread through her hair. You can see he’s tense. Bella’s eyes are open at first – loving and trusting, because despite all his fears she never once thinks that he’s going too hurt her. She closes her eyes and they kiss – mouths moving as that sweet Iron and Wine song plays on. They’re so beautiful here it hurts – him looking gorgeous in his suit and her hair done to elegant perfection. It was such a great way to end Twilight.

#6 The “Last” Kiss

Why: I mean absolutely no hate to this kiss because it is both beautiful and intense in its own right. Edward’s wallowing. We all know it. Bella can see it. She asks for a kiss for her birthday and the look on Edward’s face is telling as he complies. The reason that I place this kiss last is because of the sheer desperation in it. Bella knows something is wrong. Edward is already coming to the conclusion that he needs to leave her before he kills her. It’s plenty hot, because oh-my-god did they just moan?! But it’s so bittersweet because you know what’s coming.

So there are the six kisses so far. I can’t wait to see what this list looks like post Eclipse!

What’s YOUR favorite?

Before there was Edward and Bella, there was another vampire romance that swept the nation, Buffy and Angel. As a die hard Buffy and Angel fan, it’s hard to believe that it’s been over 5 years since my beloved Buffyverse met its untimely demise, with Buffy the Vampire Slayer being cancelled in May of 2003 and Angel in May of 2004. Yet here I am years later wrapped up in a whole other vampire world completely unlike the world I once knew, a world where vampires could be dusted by a single teenage girl has now become a world where vampires are essentially indestructible. So when I found out that the creator of my old vampire world weighed in on my new vampire world I was ecstatic!

Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and a number of other amazing shows I have come to love (Firefly, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, Dollhouse) recently weighed in on the Twilight saga in a very candid interview with MTV. In the interview Whedon not only discusses how the forbidden love between a vampire and an otherwise normal girl sounded just as crazy to him when he was creating Buffy and Angel as it does now with Edward and Bella, he goes on to say that while Robert Pattinson is cool, “Angel would kick the shit out of him.” Kristina, and a number of other Twi-hards are sure to get their panties in a twist over this one, but before you do let’s look at what he said.

First, if you’re going off the direct quote, Whedon said, “I think Robert Pattinson is really cool. Angel would kick the shit out of him.” Based on that statement alone he is basically saying that Angel would kick the shit out of Robert Pattinson, which in that case I would say is 100% accurate. However he then flip flops a bit and starts comparing Angel and Edward, “He’s Angelus, there’s no Edward Cullunus” He then goes on to make a crack about the fact that all Edward does is sparkle in the sun. Sadly, this is where Kristina’s argument gets the upper hand.

In a bout between Edward Cullen and Angel without any leveling of the playing field, Edward Cullen would win based on the fact that he is for all intensive purposes invincible, whereas Angel can be staked, thrown into the sun, etc. However, you level the playing field and throw Edward Cullen into the Buffyverse as nothing more than your typical vamp and he’d lose in a heartbeat based on Angel’s fighting skills, strength, and fact the entire Scooby Gang was by his side. Plus we already know based on the Buffy vs Edward video that Buffy alone could dust Edward.

I think it’s great that some of my favorite people in entertainment are coming out and giving their input on the Twilight phenomenon, first Kevin Smith weighed in on Twilight and now Joss Whedon. What are your thoughts? Who would win in a bout between Angel and Edward?

I’ve put together the Kevin Smith Twilight Anthology below for your enjoyment, and while not all of it screams support for the film, it at least shows that even a guy like Kevin Smith can get behind this unorthodox piece of vampire fiction. In fact he throws in a few pro’s as to why the typical Comic-Con fanboy should appreciate the series and the craze at Comic-Con.

Smith went silent like his big screen alter ego, Silent Bob, on the subject of Twilight with a retweet from BC musician and blogger Davin Dobson, “You’re now officially old. I’m calling it: 10PM on July 25th, 2009.” Smith followed the retweet in saying, “That was really funny, man. I now go silent on TWILIGHT.”

However, the Twilight talk didn’t end there.  Following an array of boos and whiny fanboys, Smith spent about two and a half minutes during his panel at Comic-Con discussing the New Moon clips that were premiered during this years event.  The clip is in typical Smith fashion and includes some bad words as well as some light jabs at the film itself, so if you’re offended by that kind of thing I wouldn’t watch it.

While Smith hasn’t read the books, he clearly supports them in some fashion or another by defending the series as well as it’s fans in these tweets. As a man who is seen as a God to many geeks and a hero to many fanboys, I think it goes to show that if someone like Kevin Smith can support it there’s no reason why any other guy on the planet shouldn’t be able to as well.

Interestingly enough, this isn’t the first time Kevin Smith has chimed in on the Twilight craze. Earlier this year both Smith and his daughter spoke out on the Twilight film during an interview with MTV. And while he agreed that it wasn’t really his type of film, he did feel it was a well made film with good acting.

Subtle “Destiny” Hints Left Out on Purpose?

In the Twilight book we begin to fall for our beloved Edward Cullen just in time to be intrigued by his choice to ditch Biology on the day that he asks Bella to sit with him in the lunchroom. As Edward puts it, it’s healthy to ditch class now and then. Of course we find out a short time later that its Blood Typing day in Biology which poses two obvious threats to him; First, that Edward does not in-fact have any blood to provide for a sample. And Second, that if he were to hang out in that classroom with all of the other kids slicing themselves open as if they were hamburgers laying on plates while lathering themselves in Ketchup, that room would be a veritable pu-pu platter of Type O-Positively-Yummy.

It is also in this scene where we learn another one of Bella’s sort of half-human-half-destined-to-be-a-vampire traits, in that she faints when she sees blood, but also has the ability to SMELL it! Even Edward comments on the fact that people cannot smell blood, to which Bella replies to him that blood smells like rust and salt.

I always really loved this scene in the book, especially after reading that section in Midnight Sun from Edwards perspective. I was pretty sad to see that it hadn’t made it into the movie, considering that one of the things that I loved about the first three books in the series is that there were several tiny clues that led one to believe that Bella was pretty much destined to become a vampire from the get-go. Leaving these out of the movie almost seems like they’re making it seem like this is a choice for her, which I never believed that it was.

So this poses a question; Did Hollywood leave out these subtle nuances due to time constraints or is this some plot to make the viewer think that becoming a vampire is more choice than Destiny?

Jessica Barnes, of Cinematical.com, describes the soulful bad boy as “…the guy who won’t win any congeniality awards, but damn if his tortured and deep emotional side isn’t enough to make you put up with just about anything.” She goes on to cite Edward Cullen and the American Beauty kid. I don’t agree with either of them, but I don’t really care about American Beauty, so let’s get to the crux of the matter.

First, I think we should find a couple of appropriate cinema bad boys.

The Archetype: James Dean

The Classic: Romeo

The Modern Bad Boy: Sebastian

Romeo Redux: Tony

Alright, back to our main man, Edward Cullen and point number 1: congeniality. Edward is wa-hay too nice to be a bad boy. We’re talking chivalry and politeness to an extreme here. Edward was born in the time when ladies were demure and gentlemen took after Mr. Darcy and all his dandy friends. His momma brought him up to be polite, and polite he is. He speaks with an air of grace and civility. The only time you’ll hear a curse word slip from his lips is when the shiny, human shaped object of his affection is about to be turned into a Bella-pancake via minivan or a quick snack via hungry, sadistic vampire. He opens doors, pulls out chairs, helps Bella out of her jacket and exhibits an air of overall solicitousness.

Factor 2: prior badness. James Dean in Rebel Without A Cause kind of stumbles around accidentally landing in bad spots when all he really wants is a little parental attention. Romeo was a playboy gang member (Capulets and Montagues = Crips and Bloods) and Sebastian probably had slept his way through the entire Junior and senior year (and a couple of the teachers) whilst causing upper-crust mayhem. What was Edward doing prior to Bella’s arrival in Forks? Making straight-A’s and basically keeping to himself. Trouble? “Not a perfect Cullen,” muses Mrs. Cope as Edward tries to talk his way out of biology, pun absolutely intended. Oh, sure. Back in his vampire adolescence Edward killed a slew of humans, but that was in the 1920’s. I think there should be a statute of limitations on these types of things. Besides, they were rapists and murderers and thieves, Oh My!

The bad boys are just souls who’ve been misunderstood. It’s part of their charm – their irresistible allure – the want we girls inexplicably feel to ease their internal suffering. Edward and his family are not misunderstood for one simple reason: they are not trying to be understood. Unlike all of these other teenage dirtbags, they don’t have any interest in fitting in or gaining friends. They’re there just to put up a facade human enough that they can live in peace for 7 or so years at a time.

Bad boys are hated by cops, teachers and parents. What happened when Edward and Jacob nearly got into a fight on school grounds? The principle didn’t even think twice about Edward being the instigator, but not so for the imposing Indian on a motorcycle. Edwards parental figures are not absent or loathsome, as they are for those other boys. Instead he has not one set, but two sets of parents who doted on him. He’s clearly a favorite amongst the Cullen “kids”. Oh, sure Edward might not have been a favorite of the chief of police of Forks, but let’s face it, Charlie is missing a couple of key points.

It’s not that I don’t see where you’re coming from on the comparison. Edward does give off the bad boy VIBE. Deep emotional side? Certainly. Brooding angst face? Check. Inability to completely shed the bad boy ways so as to be with the girl he loves – uh, not applicable. James Dean left a couple of bodies in his wake, Romeo couldn’t keep his sword (or bullet) out of Tibault’s back and Sebastian’s attempt at reform left him bleeding out on the streets of New York. Edward and Bella? Total and utter devotion – their story ended with them continuing blissfully into their piece of forever. If Edward Cullen is a bad boy – well, I suppose we’ve finally found something he sucks at.

Pun absolutely intended.