On the 7th Day til New Moon the TwiHards Gave To Me…

Seven ways to identify that you’re a Twi-Hard. I’ve only let two types of Twi-Hards: the kind who know they are obsessed and don’t bother to hide it, and the kind who cast furtive glances over their shoulders as the ogle the Twilight display at Borders. In case you’re in denial, I’ve cone up with a list of ways to know you’re a Twi-Hard.

I may or may not admit to being the subject of all of this list….

7. You know more about John and Kate, the Kardashians and Lindsey Lohan than you ever wanted to simply because you HAD to subscribe to all the gossip websites you normally hate – what if I missed a picture of Kristen or Rob?!

6.Your non-Twi-Hard friend says she wants a Team Jacob t-shirt just to but you and you buy it for her because you HAVE to support her supporting anything Twilight related.

5. When you’re buying said shirt you blurt out to the salesguy who 1)Doesn’t understand and 2) Doesn’t give a damn that you are NOT Team Jacob and you’re only buying this for your friend you swear to god.

4. The game “Who would you kill-fuck-marry” causes you emotional stress whenever someone uses Edward, Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, Rob, Jackson, Kellan or Peter (because – omg, I have to KILL one of them?!).

3.  You come back from your weekly trip to Borders and have the following conversation:

Me: Can you believe this bookmark was $5.00?! That’s insane! It’s a bookmark.

Co-Worker: You mean the bookmark you have in your hand and, I’m assuming, didn’t steal?

Me: Of course I didn’t steal it!

Co-Worker: ::blank stare:: … Never mind.

2. None of your friends, coworkers or family come running anymore when you scream. They just assume a new photo-shoot has leaked or it’s something else Twilight related. If they hear a thud they just assume it is Robert Pattinson/Jackson Rathbone/Peter Facinelli induced and call out “The abs are spraypaint!” instead of coming to see if you’re alive.

1. All of your non-Twi-Hard friends have made specific plans to be far, far away from you on the 19th, 20th and 21st, just to be safe. All of your ridiculously insane, obsessed Twi-Hard friends have made specific plans to be NEAR you on the 19th, 20th or 21st because “we need to squeal together!” By the way – you’re all in your late 20′s.

Any of these sound familiar? If they do – well my friend, you’re a Twi-Hard. Put up all your posters and gather up your best witty comebacks for the haters. You’re among friends. Need proof? Wear a Twilight related shirt out in public. I guarantee you that you’ll get a few knowing grins from closeted Twilighters – and probably a few high fives too.

Less than 6 days and 12 hours! Because if you won’t admit you’re counting – well I sure as heck will.