Twi-Cruise Alaska 2010

So, one might ask themselves…what could be better than a seven day cruise to Alaska. About a year and three months ago – I found the answer. A seven day cruise to Alaska WITH A TWILIGHT CONVENTION ON BOARD.

When I first signed up for Twi-Cruise Alaska, Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz were attached. Somewhere in there, they dropped out. As did Alex Meraz. We ended up with Michael Welch, Chaske Spencer and Jodelle Ferland as guests. One wolf, one vampire, one human. Hot. I’m all for it! I was especially happy about Mike because I’ve head some pretty amazing stories about him at conventions.

But, I do get ahead of myself.

Day 1: Seattle, WA 8/8/2010

So, we left from Seattle. I didn’t get a chance to go on the pre-cruise trip to Forks, but I heard it was a blast. Sigh. I have yet to go to Forks. SO CLOSE, and yet so far. Oh, well. What kind of dork wanders through Sea-Tac airport nostalgically (After being at Long Beach airport at 4:45 in the morning no less?)? Oh right, me. Why? Because I was imagining Edward half dragging Bella out to meet his family at the end of New Moon.

What? I was about to go on a cruise with 500 Twilight fans. Bite me.

That first night, we all met in the big auditorium at the front of the ship. Of the nearly 2,000 passengers on the Oosterdam, around 500 of us were there for the Twilight convention. They’d given us these nifty little pouches that were our ticket into all of our events and then…they introduced us to our hosts…Edward and Alice.

Zomg. Okay, let me just say I love Fake Alice. But Fakeward. Holy crap y’all. He was smarmy, he’d OBVIOUSLY read all the books (and seen all the movies) and he… well, obviously you knew he wasn’t Rob, but when you caught him coming toward you on the boat… your heart just stopped a second. And he knew it. He would give the customary Edward Cullen smirk and say, “Ladies.” Unf. The photos just do not do him justice my darlings. He was a real highlight of this cruise. The boy refused to drop character too. It was awesome.

Day 2: At Sea

We got to meet the actors on Day 2 because we did the photo shoot. I did a kind of gasp. Michael Welch? Yeah, Mike Newton is hot in person. Chaske is adorable, and FUCKTALL. And Jodelle? She’s just as sweet and pretty as can be.

We also had trivia…which I lost (which made me sadfase because I NEVER lose trivia). That afternoon we were all regaled by the true tales of the Quileutes by Quileute elder Chris Morganroth. Turns out Stephenie got a few points wrong. Hehe. Chris was an absolute delight and would have spoken for five hours if they’d have let him. He does tell stories in La Push around a bonfire. I’m hoping to catch up with him on First Beach someday.

That evening…wow. What a treat. It was 80′s karaoke night. There are some talented fans among us. Favorite moment of the night – aside from the Mike moments, which I’ll get to – was when one of the cruise organizers went over to Fakeward and hung a glowrod from his neck. He stared at it. He stared at her. He deadpanned, “I already sparkle…what more do you want from me?” Bwah haha.

As we got started who came up on the monitor but Michael Welch. He was, apparently, feeling seasick because he told us if he hurled we needed to get that on YouTube immediately. Then he proceeded to perform Space Odyssey by David Bowie. And when I say perform…I mean, he PERFORMED IT. I thought he was going to cry. Later on that night he performed Bohemian Rhapsody so enthusiastically, he actually split his pants. You can see it at the end of this video. Note, I did not take the video. I was sitting front row and to the right…and I apparently suck at taking video. Frealz.

Day 3: Scenic Cruising in Glacier Bay

That day was pretty light, Twilight-wise. I saw Twilight that morning with a few of the people on the cruise and I hit up the vending room when it became apparent that I needed something to put my papers in while I was waltzing around the ship looking at glaciers. They had some amazing totes and necklaces. So cute! One of my friends got a great Cedric Diggory tote (Oh, Cedric Rob) and I got the one pictured. Sigh. So lovely. There was a talent show that night, but I think I fell asleep early. I heard it was fun though.

Day 4: Juneau

I’m trying not to talk about the actual trip that much, but the cruise was amazing. Glacier Bay was simply astounding. Juneau was great. There was a costume ball that night, but again I didn’t attend. I didn’t have a dress. I felt weird about going in jeans.

Day 5: Sitka

Sitka was great, but in Twilight news, that was the night of Family Feud. Guests were chosen at random to be on teams. Since Edward and Alice wanted to play, guess who came down to host? Mike! He was awesome. He entertained the crowd through some technical difficulties and gave Edward crap whenever it was his turn. The boy is charming. Totes. Jodelle came down and played with us too. She was cute. She whined when she had to be on Team Werewolf.

My favorite question of the night? The question was Top Five most dangerous things Bella ever did. One of the answers was getting knocked up by a vampire. Darling Fakeward raised his arms victoriously. It was hilar.

Day 6: Ketchikan

My birthday! Edward and Bella’s anniversary! Sadly, I didn’t get to ask Edward why he was cruising AWAY from Bella on their anniversary because that night…I was drunk. Yeah. What?! It was my birthday and there was a pub crawl. However, I heard the costume contest was fab. That DAY was the Q and A with the actors. The questions had been sent in prior. A couple of things we learned – Chaske is honest! He admitted to not having read the books (“I’m 35 and male…they weren’t in my demographic) and he admitted that he didn’t even see Twilight until he was on the plane to Vancouver. He also said that he was confused when he met Rob and he was speaking in a British accent. LOL. Mike did his bow-chica-bow-bow dance and Jodelle talked about how she knew Cameron Bright and worked with Kristen on The Messengers.

Day 7: Victoria 8/14/2010

I missed the screening of New Moon because…well, you know, I’d been up late getting jiggy with it on the dance floor. I totally argued with this big, buff sailor dude about Team Edward vs Team Jacob. He said Jacob was hotter. AS IF.

Ahem, anyway. That was autograph day. Chaske was totally adorable in his reading glasses. He also had a laptop out on which he was playing music for 500 Days of Summer. Bonus points Chaske. All of them signed Happy Birthday on my friend’s photos as it was her birthday, even though they weren’t technically supposed to (so sweet!). I got pictures with Fakeward and Fake Alice finally! Fakeward loved my T-shirt. He says he can’t get enough of them. “I have quite a large ego for a vampire!”

We had Jeopardy that afternoon which, as hosted by Alice and Edward, was hilarious. Edward actually collapsed to his knees on the stage at one point because the category was anagrams and Rosalie Hale became Is a Real Hole. He nearly died. Then, he cleared his throat and put on his brood face again.

All and all, it was fantastic. The actors could not have been more friendly (even when we all stared a little bit when we ran into them on the ship), the actual cruise was just…amazing, and the fan events were so much fun. Definitely an experience I will treasure forever.

Helpful Links:

Twi-Cruise Alaska

Twi -Cruise Italy 2011 – You can sign up now. Looks like the pre-trip is in Volterra! Sadly, I will NOT be attending that cruise…but Fakeward will! He promised not to run off to Volterra to die. He says he has no reason to this time. The people who put together this cruise, Cruises, Cruises, Cruises Inc. were really amazing. What a great line up. What fun. Do attend if you can.

Fakeward - otherwise known as Brandon, apparently. He’s funny. I love his pictures. Especially the ones of him “hunting” in Alaska. You can see the other Cullen impersonators there.