Twi-Hard at the Office

Probably the most irritating thing about being a Twi-Hard is the assumption that Twilight is for teenagers. Look, I’m not saying that teenagers don’t make up a significant amount of the fandom (and certainly the loudest portion), but they are not representative of all of us. One of the greatest things about Twilight is how it connects readers from from age 11 to age 92. You have to figure, statistically speaking, there have got to be more fans over the age of 20 than under.

The point is, you have to figure there are a lot of us infecting offices all over the world!

Now, I’ll admit that I’m about a thousand times more outwardly fervent about my obsession than the average adult Twilighter. A lot of our kind are in the closet. You’ll see them. They’ll smirk when they pass a silver Volvo and when they go past the magazine aisle they slow down. They’re checking out how many covers they can find a member of the Twilight cast on, I guarantee.

But that’s not the point. For your amusement I present my cubicle – an ode to Twilight fandom and Robsession.

My office book collection – in English and Spanish. Breaking Dawn is “checked out” right now. You might notice the red mark. That’s one of the horri-bad Robert Pattinson biographies. Let the record show I would NEVER buy that myself. It was given to me by a friend who found it for $.99, which is about all I would be willing to pay for it. That being said, I will admit to enjoying the hell out of the pictures. As an added bonus, when the boys in the office act up I rub the book on them and tell them I’m rubbing Rob on them. It creeps them out. Score!

1) Button reads: Sparkle you fool, sparkle!

2) Button reads: Whenever I hear thunder I think of vampires playing baseball. (True)

3) Button reads: Meanwhile, in a town named Spoons.

* – Is that my New Moon ticket?! Why yes. Yes, it is!

Also – this is what I see when I look up from my computer. This is probably a bad idea. I tend to get lost in his eyes. But do you blame me? He’s STARING right at me.

At no point since last August has my desktop been non-Twilight (or, at the very least, non-Rob) related. It usually changes once a week. This is not my fault. They should stop releasing beautiful pictures I want to stare at.

Also note the Cullen boys (sans Edward since Edward and Bella’s cards are missing – SHENANIGANS) below the monitor, watching me work.

My inbox may or may not be full of various magazines with Rob and/or Twilight on them. I’ve taken out a few examples for your pleasure. I’d like to dedicate the adorable Jackson image to Twi-Friend Cella , another example of the “not a teen” portion of the fandom. Obviously, I’m completely Robsessed but that doesn’t mean I’m not entirely in love with Jackson Rathbone.

A couple of disclaimers. Of COURSE I didn’t write the gay on Jackson’s forehead. It’s just a hazard of having a Twilight obsession in a company full of boys. Shenanigans will abound. Additionally – it only occurred to me later that the lotion on the right probably sends the wrong message. It’s there to keep my hands soft. That’s all! I swear.

I love my posters. The Ani DiFranco one is mine too. Not pictured, since they’re hanging over other people’s heads, are my Harry Potter Poster, my Star Wars poster, and my X-Files poster. In other words, rest assured that I do have other interests.

It’s just…none of them are quite as … pretty as Twilight.