Twi-Hater Shenanigans

All of us here at Where’s Edward know the plight of the Twilighter. At least the adult Twilighter. It seems those of the male persuasion think acknowledging vampires who sparkle in the sunlight will somehow commit them to having sleepovers and braiding each others hair (yes, I did just make a Wide Awake reference).  Because yea, vampires that DIE in the sun are the pinnacle of masculinity. Anyway.

I have come into work to find my collectible card set on the ceiling. Someone absconded with my Edward Cullen card completely for about a week. And I swear to god if one more of my co-workers calls Rob “Bobby Parkinsons” (because yea, I yelled a lot when they kept calling him Robert Patterson), I might just throw something at them.

Here are a few more high-larious pranks/conversations I’ve been subjected to.

I frequently come back from lunch to find something appalling in place of my beautiful, constantly Twilight related computer background – currently that gorgeous New Moon still of Edward and Bella moments away from what looks to be a hot kiss.

Today’s blashphemy :

Chyea – they went there. I suspect it was all the more amusing because I made the mistake of telling them I’d gotten into a Team Edward/Team Jacob Twilight diss fight in the line at Disney California Adventure. Yes, I’m 26, thanks for asking.

Other unfortunate backgrounds that made me scream included two Zac Fricken Efron, one with his hand on his crotch sans shirt – and let me say, I have reconciled the illogical hatred I had for the lad, but I DO NOT find him attractive. He gets points for admitting Rob is hotter than him (Ya think?!) and for being young Simon on Firefly.  Although Rob earned some serious tsks from me when he made the “Where’s Efron?” Comment on the commentary of the DVD. I nearly died.

Not one but THREE of my beloved co-workers felt the need to forward me this little gem that one of them, Corey, cooked up:Bella: You Sparkle!
Edward: Yes I sparkle, cause I am a Fairy.
Bella: Oh, like Pixie Dust.
Edward: Yes, And if I think happy thoughts I can fly.
Bella: Really!?
Edward: Yes, Bella, and you’re my happy thought!

That’s…almost sweet, actually. Except the fairy part. I get it guys – he sparkles so he’s a fairy, not a vampire. Har. You’re just jealous of his rock hard bod and sex hair. :p

And one final dig/funny from the night of the MTV movie awards, from a conversation between my friend Tony, who only lets me talk Twilight if I promise to convince Ashley Greene to become his wife/sex slave in the future, and I.

Tony: My sister came in my room earlier and was like “twilight won this and that blah blah blah.  5 awards in one night” and I go “what fucking sham of an awards show did this?”  and she said “Mtv” and I go “right.  how silly of me.”
Me: it’s awesome for funny quality
Me: here http://www.mtv.com/  highlights so you don’t get degraded
Tony: that’s ok, I’d rather just imagine the highlights in my head.  there’s more of alice naked and begging me to fill her with my man-seed and less fangirls that I want to drop napalm on.