Fanfiction Addiction: Bad Habits

The word “intervention” gets thrown around a lot around me. Always in relation to my Twilight obsession. Listen, is it my fault that watching the Volturi beat the crap out of Edward (by the by – is Michael Sheen not the PERFECT Aro? Srsly) makes me scream out loud. I mean, they CRACKED his fricken face.

But I digress.

My frequent question when people post the intervention scenario to me is simple: How is it hurting me to love something so much? Aside from the the gentle hints that someone might kill me out of annoyance, they can’t think of anything. Up until recently, I couldn’t either.  Sure, I joke that I’m going to marry Rob someday, but let’s be honest – how many of us don’t?

However, that all changed when I got into fanfiction.

For some reason, fanfic influences me more than the books (and movies, for that matter) ever could. For instance, I already swear constantly but after I read Wide Awake, even my best friends noticed a definite upgrade in my number of curse words per sentence ratio. And don’t even talk to them about after I read Mr. Horrible because I still haven’t stopped saying totes and fuckawesome.

These word habits don’t bother me…it’s my brand new addiction to ice cream that does.

Three words – Mission to Marzipan.

What it comes down to is this – I was in love with Baby Swan, and Baby Swan loves her some Mission to Marzipan. When I first read Mr. Horrible, I had no clue wtf Marzipan even was. But just like Baby Swan’s rather unique style of speaking, the term stuck in my head.

I tried distracting myself, but suddenly my delicious flavors of yogurt just didn’t cut it. I wanted to try. And try I did.

Now I can’t stop craving it. It’s totes amazing ice cream. Like, gah. Marzipan swirls, which wikipedia tells me is “a confection consisting primarily of sugar and almond meal,” and this soft, delicious almond cookie thing mixed in a cream ice cream? They may as well rename it heaven on a flipping spoon.

You know – come to think about it, Baby Swan is just a bad influence. I am WAY too curious about Tuna Noodle Casseroles now as well. Pah.

Then I started reading this fic called Emancipation Proclamation. We will talk, later, about the amazingness that is EP and Mafia Princeward, but for now, let’s talk about the little vice that our foul mouthed, Italian talking Mafia Prince Edward introduces us to.

Toblerone.

Now, I should mention that I don’t like chocolate (yea, yea, I know, Unamerican, inhuman, bla bla bla). Still, I was curious. I had actually heard of Toblerone for the first time about a month prior when I was reading an article about the most brilliant hidden signs in advertising. If you look closely at the Toblerone logo, there’s a bear standing in the mountain. Clever, eh?

Anyway, with that and with MPW’s and Consigliere Carlisle’s love of the chocolate it got into my head. So I found myself at Target one day and I notice the Toblerone amidst the impulse purchases. And I purchased it…impulsively. I got outside, ripped off the packaging and bit into a triangle.

Honey. Crunchy. Smooth chocolate. For a moment, it was everything that was delicious in this world. Then the chocolate overpowered the honey and crunchy stuff and I didn’t like it. I gave it to my brother who said it was pretty darn tasty.

But I’ll be damned if I didn’t start craving it again a few days later. Yet another semi-addiction I could have done without. Seriously – can you fanfic authors not make your characters love something non-fattening? I mean, it seems like the least you can do if you’re going to get something stuck in my head that won’t leave until I eat it. :-p