Fanfiction Addiction: The Office

I know for a fact my mother reads this blog. So if you’re my mother, and you’re reading this…go away. I mean it. That goes for all of you vaguely prudish people. Trust me, you don’t want to read this. This post – not so much PG-13.  ::peers:: Okay. I think we’re good now.

Let’s talk about sex, baby. Let’s talk about The Office.

Now, I am no stranger to fanfiction and I am no stranger to smut. More straight out porn has graced my computer screen than the average 16 year old boy, I guarantee you. And we’re not talking about the vanilla shit either. I mean, my tastes are diverse.

I tell you this because I want you to understand the depth of what I mean when I say The Office contains, hands down, the HOTTEST sex I have ever had the pleasure of reading. Just like – good lord, feel it in your core, feel it in your panties hotness.

One of the things I loved about reading Twilight was how every sensual touch between Edward and Bella was so titillating. When he stroked her cheek for the first time, it felt just as intimate as reading a couple’s first lovemaking.  The Office perfectly replicates that intensity … except with a fire that will run straight down your spine. What I mean is – if sex is hot, sex in the Office is probably the equivalent of jumping into the sun.

When it’s going supernova.

The Edward and Bella we first meet hate each other. I mean, really, really hate each other. Edward is a high ranking executive in the office. Bella is his assistant. They’re both stubborn people, and they are both very, very angry.  Chapter 1 takes place 9 months into their association. Tby789 doesn’t waste any time. She plunges us into (hehe) their first “encounter” right away.

At first, the physical relationship between Edward and Bella is a full on battle. Here are two otherwise rational people who have lost the fight against the intense magnetism they feel for each other. This kind of sex is what’s meant by ANGRY sex. Their first encounters are rife with the hatred they feel for each other. It’s a battle of dominance – each trying to assert their power over the infuriating other only to find themselves coming up equals; giving as good as they are getting. And it’s fucking sexy as hell.

Yet, as the story progresses and their hatred slowly changes to love – the total opposite extreme version of love – the sex loses none of its heat. Instead of trying to dominate they are consuming each other. Their filthy, borderline degrading mouths turn into endearments and…French, in Edward’s case. And yet The Office is never corny. Instead their words and their actions always express passion. It is beautiful to watch.

And have I mentioned – hot. ::fans self::

Now, let’s give credit where credit is due. I think I’m making it sound like The Office is no more than gratuitous porn. Hot gratuitous porn but gratuitous porn non-the-less. This is an insane disservice to this fic.

The story line in and of itself is wonderful, and very excellently executed. You come to understand exactly why Edward and Bella feel the way they do about each other in the beginning. Tby789 takes her time in unraveling their first impressions of each other and guiding them towards their happily ever after.

Along the line she brings us wonderful side characters. Previous to the time period of the fic, Bella knew the Cullens (Carlisle, Esme and Emmett) for years while Edward was away in Paris. All of the Cullens know her and love her – and give Edward no small amount of crap about the way he treats her. It’s great to watch.

Add to this a few garnishes – Bella’s love of power panties (and Edward’s entirely erotic love of ripping them off of her), a guest starring spot for Mike Newton (who Tby789 makes a nice guy – always nice to see), Edward’s caveman side and, last but certainly not least, Edward’s completely adorable relationship with his niece (Emmett and Rosalie’s daughter) Carrington – and you have an incredible story.

There is literally no part of this story that isn’t enjoyable and incredible. You’ll laugh, your heart will sing and your panties will be wet. What’s not to love?

The Office Links:

The Office quotes – not finished at the moment, and will be updated as The Office is updated.

The Office on Fanfiction.net

The Office on Twilighted.net

Overtime at the Office – The Office outtakes

The Office Blog – In case you’re curious what all this underwear that gets destroyed looked like, you’ll find it here.

Tby789′s Twitter – An excellent follow as she links the most sensual pics like…ever.