Living Backwards Quotes
Quotes from Living Backwards by ciaobella27.
I can say, without a doubt that I don’t care that you’re a shitty driver and almost lost your license twice or that you went to ComicCon and pissed in the urinal next to Joss Whedon. Unless Joss is keeping you posted on upcoming storylines on The Dollhouse, save it.
~Bella Swan after Tyler Crowley tags his entire High School class on a Facebook note about him
We went to the same school, but we didn’t exactly run in the same circles. Well, I didn’t run in any circle really. (I didn’t run at all. I was always ridiculously uncoordinated.)
~Bella Swan on Alice Brandon, Facebook
I don’t have a lot in common with that girl now anyway. I left her in the school library, eating lunch alone and chatting with the librarian.
~Bella Swan on her 17 year old self, Facebook
Who am I kidding? I think it’s hysterical that after a botched boob job Lauren’s nipples are crooked. The asymmetry is almost hypnotic. Like if you look at them long enough, maybe they’ll realign. I don’t stare at her tits often, but they are crooked and she is a douche bag so it’s a win-win.
~Bella Swan, Facebook
“Bella, honey, I’m so glad that you’re letting loose and enjoying yourself, truly, I am,” she began carefully. “But you need to stop listening to your flask if it begins talking to you again. Talking flasks are not cool. OK?”
~Alice Brandon on Joan, Facebook
God, I fucking hate Facebook.
~Bella Swan, Facebook
I wanted to open my eyes and kick their asses for waking me up so early on a Saturday but someone must have inserted a skewer right into my eye socket and stabbed my brain. The pain radiating from my eye through my entire skull was excruciating. My mouth was dry and my stomach was lurching. I quickly tried to remember what had taken place the night before and why someone would try to murder me in my sleep. Then I remembered the bottle of wine I opened to drown my Facebook sorrows. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
~Bella Swan being awoken by Alice and Rosalie, Cyberstalking
“Sorry, Belsy,” Rosalie cooed. “Looks like you’re going to have to set your sights elsewhere or you’ll just end up hanging out with your Pocket Rocket this evening. And can you really afford that? You’re practically keeping Duracell in business single-handedly.”
~Rosalie Hale after Alice informs Bella that Edward will not be attending their party, Cyberstalking
But now, Posh,” I motioned to Rosalie, “please take Scary over here and leave me and my hangover alone.”
~Bella Swan, Cyberstalking
Did he look like this in high school?! Jesus. I decided that I needed to make a trip to this bar of his soon, but without the Crazy Bitches. They’d definitely embarrass me. I would ask Angela and Ben. Ben was always willing to be our designated driver and Lord knows if Edward looked anything like that in person, I’d need some assistance getting home. Or not. Bad, Bella
~Bella Swan, Cyberstalking
“Fuck, Alice! How long are we staying in 1999? This is just for the evening, no?”
~Bella Swan after Alice comes back with too man 90′s clothes for one party, Cyberstalking (famous last words! LOL)
There were two other possible options. I could either be dead or in a coma. If I was dead and this was heaven, someone had a lot of explaining to do. My old bedroom in my parent’s house was not the place I wanted to spend eternity in.
~Bella Swan, Ephemeral
The shot of vodka along with the trauma of waking up in my depressing 17 year old life made me sleepy very quickly. I closed my eyes and bid farewell to That Bella. The Bella I left behind in Forks. Ephemeral. That’s what she was. And I was glad.
~Bella Swan, Ephemeral (you got another thing coming sweetheart)
Fuck.
~Bella Swan, Ephemeral
I refused to accept that a pair of retro jeans had killed me. I couldn’t fathom that level of embarrassment. I’d also rather believe in a benevolent God that would not banish us back to high school when we died.
~Bella Swan, Redux
Regardless, I was back in time without the cool De Lorean.
~Bella Swan, Redux
If you change part of one person’s future, it has a domino effect. Ashton Kutcher makes one bad decision and – BAM – Amy Smart’s a crack whore. This was serious business
~Bella Swan, Redux
Must remember to buy Cinnamon Pop Tarts after I dig the Korn CD out of my closet. Finding lots of hidden gems in 1999.
~Bella Swan, Redux
I noticed some familiar faces milling around; people I hadn’t seen in years, but had been haunting my Facebook page for the past two weeks.
~Bella Swan, Redux (bwa – that would be surreal)
Tyler Crowley was showing a group of kids a dent in his front fender. Newsflash, Tyler, your driving doesn’t get any better.
Lauren Mallory was walking into school with her arms crossed in front of her chest. Oh Lauren, enjoy those perky tits now because small and perky kicks big and wonky’s ass any day.
~Bella Swan about their future incarnations, Redux
Maybe I would see if she wanted to study together for…whatever we were studying for. Then I would be my charming self and she would realize that I’m awesome and be my best friend.
I may need a more detailed plan.
~Bella Swan trying to figure out how to get her best friend back, Redux
Standing near the corner of the building, lighting a cigarette and looking at me with a curious expression was Edward Cullen.
~Bella Swan, Redux (who else smells trouble? Delicious, delicious trouble)
I can’t have cereal, but I won’t be a douche and complain. I’d eat my waffles like a man.
~Edward Cullen being “subjected” to Esme’s vanilla Belgium waffles, Already Gone
This is the third time in as many weeks that we have had Osso Buco. Find me another student at Forks High that knows what Osso Fucking Buco is. I dare you.
~Edward Cullen, Already Gone
“You know I hate that bike, Edward. Why can’t you just drive your car? That’s why we got it.” Yes, you bought the Volvo. I rebuilt my bike. It’s mine.
“I don’t know. Because it’s nice out. Because school’s almost over. Because I need to give you a few more heart attacks before I head to Seattle. Take your pick.”
~Esme Cullen and Edward Cullen, Already Gone
My day wasn’t getting any better. Between Esme’s culinary ambush, my fucked up bike and now Alice’s sudden desire to adopt me as a pet project, I would have been better off staying in bed today. Detention would have definitely been less painful.
~Edward Cullen, Already Gone (the boy does suffer doesn’t he?)
She looked up startled and nearly knocked the wind out of me. Bella Swan? Bella Swan was sitting on my milk carton. Behind the gym in my place. With a flask. And it was pink.
~Edward Cullen, Already Gone
“My problem is that I’ve had a shitty day and now I’ve apparently invaded your little fortress of solitude and you need to act like a dick. So, while I have a lot of problems at the moment, the most irritating of them would be pretty boys who are far more attractive when they aren’t speaking.”
~Bella Swan after Edward snarks at her, Already Gone
Nervous Breakdown Bella was kind of amusing.
~Edward Cullen, Already Gone
The arrival of an obviously premenstrual Edward Cullen did nothing to ease the tension I was feeling. Edward was nothing at all like I had expected and I’d admit that I was more than a little disappointed. Just seeing him leaning against the brick wall with that ridiculous mess of hair, the worn motorcycle jacket and requisite bad boy cigarette caused my mouth to start watering. But his mood swings were tiring.
~Bella Swan, Fortune’s Fool
I may talk to my flask, but Alice wasn’t always playing with a full deck either. She actually enjoyed The Beach.
~Bella Swan on Alice’s obsession with Leonardo DiCaprio, Fortune’s Fool
Volleyball should be outlawed under the Geneva Convention. In what other sport do poor unsuspecting students get torturously and repeatedly beaned off the head with large balls? Gym is God’s way of sticking it to the uncoordinated.
~Bella Swan, Fortune’s Fool
But as I perused the selection, it became apparent that the bottles inhabiting the liquor cabinet must have been gifts from people who clearly did not like my parents: Seagram’s VO, Midori, a couple random bottles of wine and oh…my nemesis, Captain Morgan. Well Captain, I’m willing to call a truce if you are.
~Bella Swan, Fortune’s Fool
Rose walked through the door and gave me a half smile, her eyes narrow and condescending. Oh no, no, no. She did not give me that look. That’s the look she gives to Tanya. My best friend just gave me the Tanya Smile.
~Bella Swan meeting Rosalie for the “first” time, Fortune’s Fool
“Well, initially I thought Tanya but she can be such a bitch.” She was speaking frenetically and making no sense. “No, Bella is perfect.”
“I’m pretty awesome, Alice,” I replied confused. “But perfect? No.”
“I meant for Edward!”
“Cullen?” I replied incredulously.
“Yes, he said those exact words to me yesterday.”
“He told you he was awesome?” I asked flippantly.
“No, silly Bella, he doesn’t think prom is his thing either. You should go together and be all anti-disestablishment together.”
~Alice Brandon and Bella Swan, Fortune’s Fool
Fess up, Rose. You like me. I rock.
~Bella Swan, Fortune’s Fool
“Yes, I-love-nothing-but-Football Emmett. I’m-too-busy-to-think-about-girls Emmett. I-don’t-even-notice-when-Rosalie-is-wearing-a-see-through-top Emmett. Fucking Foot-baller Block,” she muttered.
~Rosalie Hale crushing on someone, didn’t catch who, Fortune’s Fool
Varner knew that Mrs. Lee and I didn’t have the best relationship and I’m sure he’d heard her complain about me as well. I smiled imagining her ranting about “That Cullen Boy” who thought he knew everything. I may not know everything, but I was pretty sure I knew more than she did.
~Edward Cullen, Nuts and Bolts
If I hadn’t just punched Newton, I don’t think I could bring myself to drink from a fucking pink sparkly flask, but I needed something to numb the throbbing.
~Edward Cullen, Nuts and Bolts
“Your turn to bring the refreshments,” she called back grinning. Apparently, she intended to make herself a more permanent fixture here. And she was under the impression that this was a fucking pot luck.
~Edward Cullen, Nuts and Bolts
“Sorry,” he replied nervously clearing his throat. “I’ve got a dry throat.”
Is that what they call it these days?
~Emmett McCarty and Edward Cullen after watching Rosalie bend over, Nuts and Bolts
“I’ll give you this much,” I offered, “there are a lot of guys that are going to be sitting uncomfortably for the rest of the day after seeing her bent over the hood like that.”
“Oh, really now?” she asked, one brow shooting up.
“She’s not my type, Swan,” I replied quickly without thinking. I thought I had a type but lately, I wasn’t so sure. At any rate, I wasn’t about to discuss “my type” with Bella especially since I was staring at her ass less than a half hour ago. “Shouldn’t you be in class somewhere?”
~Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, Nuts and Bolts
I could only imagine that if I went to the prom with Bella, she’d probably name the limo or insist on flashing her flask in one of those cheesy prom pictures. I couldn’t help laughing at the image in my head, but I just shook the idea away.
~Edward Cullen, Nuts and Bolts (Best not to resist Edward – you’re falling in love with the girl. Deal with it)
On Thursday, he handed me a jewel case with a blank CD inside, offering to enlighten me with a few songs from a “new” band called The White Stripes.
~Bella Swan about Edward’s “forward” taste in music, Myopic
It sucked having a song stuck in my head that I couldn’t even listen to. Just another awesome thing about time travel the movies don’t seem to cover. I felt like I should be taking advantage of the more lucrative aspects of being sent back in time. If I were smart, I’d forget all about Rosalie and Alice and go invent Facebook. Fortunately for them, I still believed Facebook was the portal to hell and didn’t want to be held responsible for unleashing that shit.
~Bella Swan on the perils of time travel, Myopic
I couldn’t resist picking up a teen magazine with a virginal Britney Spears on the cover looking up at the camera with wide, innocent eyes.
You don’t fool me, Brit. I know everything.
~Bella Swan on the benefits of time travel, Myopic
“Having a front row seat to the show made up for it.”
“I thought you said she wasn’t your type,” I replied softer than I would have liked, feeling a twinge of jealousy.
“I wasn’t talking about Rosalie.”
~Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, Myopic
I had a Master’s Degree in English Literature. I’m a walking dictionary and I know the difference between effect and affect. I don’t do speechless.
~Bella Swan on the perils of Edward’s flirting, Myopic
“To Rosalie and Emmett,” I began, raising the sparkling flask for my toast. “May all your ups and downs be under the covers.” Rosalie batted my arm but I managed to take a swig and hand it over to Alice.
“Here’s to the top,” Alice added raising the flask. “Here’s to the middle. Let’s hope after school, Rose gets a little.” She took a swig, winced and handed it to Rosalie.
“I’m pretty sure it’s not “little”, girls,” she teased grabbing the flask.
~Bella Swan, Alice Brandon, and Rosalie Hale, Myopic
“It’s a fucking freak show in here,” I whispered leaning in close.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “I heard there’s a girl in here that talks to her flask.”
~Bella Swan and Eward Cullen in detention, Myopic
“You tease me for naming my flask,” she began with a gleam in her eye. “You tease me for naming my truck. But I’m willing to bet there’s something that you’ve named,” she added as her eyes darted below to the zipper on my jeans.
~Bella Swan, Emissions Testing
“Well, there are things I need to know in order to think of the perfect name. Take my flask, for example. I know how it looks,” she began as she ran her hand down my arm and positioned herself in front of me. “It looks….enticing. I know how it feels,” she continued, resting the palms of both hands on my chest. “It feels hard and rough.” I was working to regulate my breathing, but I could hear myself practically panting. “I know how it tastes,” she whispered in my ear before slowly lowering herself so that she rested on her knees in front of me. “It tastes…delicious,” she added with a wicked grin.
~Bella Swan, Emissions Testing
“Well, we’ve covered ‘touch’,” she began. “What was the other thing I needed again?” she teased. She was torturing me, wanting me to ask for it.
“Taste,” I stammered wildly, panting like an animal. “You said ‘taste’.”
~Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, Emissions Testing
I could almost envision us all in Alice’s “perfect” limo heading to the prom. Bella would naturally be passing around her flask because we wouldn’t be able to make it through the evening without a few shots. Rosalie and Emmett would probably be arm wrestling or whatever it is they’d do to get off. Jasper, the Poor Bastard, would be wearing his top hat. And I’m sure Alice would just flash me a smug smile knowing that she had won and I had caved.
~Edward Cullen, Emissions Testing
I thought about having her in my car tomorrow which led me to thinking of having her in my car tomorrow.
~Edward Cullen, Emissions Testing (ooh the difference between vampire Edward and human Edward)
I needed to distract myself or I wouldn’t be able to stand up without physically declaring what I had been secretly thinking about all day.
~Edward Cullen, Emissions Testing
While it was tempting to send Britney an anonymous tip to avoid any backup dancers that reeked of desperation and weed, I knew better.
~Bella Swan on not fucking with the past, Cognizance
If you’re given a chance to do things over, shouldn’t you take advantage?
~Bella Swan, Cognizance
The contradictions in this boy were staggering. Thinking back to the picture I painted of him in my head, I thought he was such a rebel. Now, I don’t know how I’d describe him. He dressed the part, got detention and smoked like a fiend. But he returned his library books, rescued my flask and kept his car lemony fresh because his auntie liked it that way.
~Bella Swan, Cognizance
“James Bond?” he questioned with a raised brow. “Very original, Swan.”
“Passing cryptic notes, creating diversions, launching rescue missions, all things that made the ladies swoon over 007,” I teased.
“So I make you swoon, Swan? Is that what you’re saying?” he asked, knocking the cocky right out of me.
~Edward Cullen and Bella Swan about Edward’s flask James Bond, Cognizance
I knew I had taken things too far and I needed to fall on my sword and apologize. But how the hell do you apologize to your platonic teenage guy-friend for pulling your pants down? So humiliating.
~Bella Swan, Cognizance (Things get out of hand quick when Edward Cullen is involved ::snicker::)
“Seth, hey, this is my friend, Bella,” Edward began, motioning to me. “She’s having an identity problem.”
~Edward Cullen slyly asking for a fake ID, Cognizance
“So,” he began, taking a seat in front of a massive computer system, “you want some identification? Drinking’s bad for you, you know?” he commented with a wink.
“Yeah, well, not drinking’s worse,”
~Tattoo Guy Embry and Bella Swan, Cognizance
I think I spontaneously ovulated.
~Bella Swan reacting to Edward’s shirtless, tattooed state, Cognizance
I could smell his Edwardness.
~Bella Swan, Cognizance
“So let me get this straight,” he began. “I needed to drive you to Port Angeles so we could get an ID for your alcoholic self. Then I need to pay for a tattoo on the hip you so like to flash around. And now I have to feed you? Is that right?”
“Most guys would consider this a win, Edward,” I retorted. “You were half naked. I had my pants down and you didn’t even need to buy me dinner first.”
~Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, Cognizance
I suddenly thought of Marty McFly and the picture he had in his pocket of his brother and sister. Every time Marty fucked up, he’d look at the picture and someone’s head in the picture would have faded away – ceasing to exist. I didn’t have a magic photograph to look at, but I knew I was sucking at Time Travel 101. Every fiber of my being wanted Edward to kiss me, but I could end up with a whole bunch of theoretically headless people in my life if I fucked this up.
~Bella Swan, Cognizance
Resistance may be futile.
~Bella Swan on Edward, Cognizance
And she had the audacity to call me moody! She’d be fucking moody too if she had to deal with the mountain of mixed signals I was buried under. The worst part was that when it came down to it, as easy as it was with Becky, Laura, Victoria or any of the other girls I was with, I never wanted them the way I wanted Bella. And that was what pissed me off the most.
~Edward Cullen, Fuel Injection
What kind of word is ‘swoon-worthy’ anyway?!
~Edward Cullen, Fuel Injection
Then I would get pissed that I was calling Bella’s fucking flask by name as if I were as crazy as she was. Maybe her brand of crazy is contagious.
~Edward Cullen, Fuel Injection
“What are you doing here, Swan?” I asked, unable to hold back my grin. “Trying to score some rubbing alcohol? I thought we got you an ID so you wouldn’t have to be so desperate.”
~Edward Cullen running into Bella at the hospital, Fuel Injection
“Hey,” he said, looking at Bella. “Pad Thai!”
“Hey, Osso Bucco!” she replied, smiling.
“Hey, you two know each other?”
~Carlisle Cullen, Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, Fuel Injection
“God, Edward! How can you hang your head and sulk all day when you have this glorious woman at home cooking you Osso Bucco and Veal Saltimboca?!” she fumed.
“And scones,” Carlisle the Traitor added. Bella’s eyes grew wide as she reached up and shoved me. She fucking shoved me!
~ Fuel Injection
This had to be a nightmare. Maybe I was being punished for making Bella go down on me in too many of my dreams. Maybe this was my payback. Fuck, I shouldn’t be thinking of the dreams now. God dammit.
~Edward Cullen after Carlisle invites Bella to dinner, Fuel Injection
“Thank you for having me,” she added in a shaky voice. I hadn’t even gotten started yet.
“It’s our pleasure, really,” Esme replied, moving behind me to close the door.
“Yes,” I added, whispering in Bella’s ear. “It’s really a pleasure to have you.” I heard her breath hitch.
~Bella Swan, Esme Cullen and Edward Cullen after Edward decides to mess with Bella, Fuel Injection
“You have dial-up, right?” she added with a smirk.
“What else would I have?” I replied, baffled by the direction of the conversation.
~Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, Fuel Injection (lol)
Most genius conversation of the whole fic thusly – had to be posted verbatim. Sorry.
“I don’t see any Britney,” she teased. “Bet she has a whore tag, too.”
“The mousekeeter?” I asked in disbelief. “She’ll be in rehab in six months.” For some reason, Bella found this hysterical.
“She’s fucking the kid from N’Sync,” she added.
“Did the crystal ball tell you that, too?”
“I have people, Edward,” she said with another laugh.
“Are these real people, Bella, or inanimate ones?” I asked sarcastically. “What else do your people tell you?”
“That Meg White isn’t Jack’s sister. She’s his ex wife,” she deadpanned. “Hey, do you really like Limp Bizkit or did you just download this accidentally? Because if you meant it, you just lost some cool points.”
~Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, Fuel Injection
“Well,” she replied. “I did take a class on making sushi. I don’t get to do it often, but I was pleased with the result.”
“How often doyou get to…do it?” I asked before taking a bite and slowly pulling the fork out of my mouth.
“Not nearly enough,” she sneered, glaring at me.
~Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, Fuel Injection
“Put your left hand on my shoulder and swing your right leg over so you’re straddling the bike.” Or me, whichever you like.
~Edward Cullen, Fuel Injection
“Then I started to find bottles stashed around the house. The first time it happened, something had rolled under the couch. I don’t remember what…but I reached under and felt glass. When I pulled it out, I saw that it was an empty bottle of whiskey. And it’s funny. I assumed that it was my dad’s,” I laughed sadly. “It didn’t occur to me at the time that my dad drank vodka.”
~ Edward Cullen explaining his past to Bella, Combustion (heartbreaking imagery)
They held their shit together for me, but you can only hold back the inevitable for just so long. You can’t stop it.” The only saving grace was that I didn’t need to witness their last blow up, when they finally combusted.
~Edward Cullen, Combustion
“Sometimes the very best intentions have disastrous results.”
~Bella Swan, Combustion
“I just wanted him to get to the point, but he was going on and on about how he and my dad would pretend they were Perseus, sent off to kill Medusa. I had no clue at the time what he was trying to tell me, how he wanted me to see who my dad was before he broke.”
~Edward Cullen on Carlisle, Combustion
I don’t think I fully appreciated Carlisle until that moment. His message was loud and clear. I didn’t need to go up in flames. I could survive this.
~Edward Cullen, Combustion
“The phoenix and the swan are both constellations?” she asked, looking amused. “Insert ‘birds of a feather’ joke.”
“Yeah, just never in the same sky at the same time,” I mused. The smile quickly left her face.
“I guess the timing is off,” she added softly. I got the impression that we weren’t talking about stars anymore. I just couldn’t understand why.
~Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, Combustion
It only took the slightest move from her for me to respond. When her defenses crumbled, she moved her lips against mine and I lost all sense of reason. I didn’t worry about scaring her away. I didn’t give her the opportunity to run. I didn’t even give her a chance to tell me she wanted me too. I just didn’t think at all because kissing Bella Swan felt better than anything I had ever felt before.
~Edward Cullen, Combustion
And when the kiss deepened, I fought back every impulse in my body that screamed for me to lay her down on the seat of my bike and show her how she had ruined me.
~Edward Cullen, Combustion
No more running.
Fuck that shit.
~Edward Cullen, Combustion
“I was like ‘New Hope, my ass.’ Then he stopped dead in his tracks and I thought he was actually going to defend the stupid movie because, for the love of Christ, he can’t agree with a thing I say. Instead, he just looks at me with this dead serious expression and says ‘Go to the prom with me.’ I agreed and we went to the arcade at the mall and played Tekken. I kicked his ass!”
~Rosalie Hale after her date with Emmett to see Star Wars Episode I, Misconstrue (love the whole bit about the Force and agree with it – but I still enjoyed the prequels, sorry. LOL)
He has an original Millennium Falcon, Alice! We went back to his house and….”“…he let you play with his rocket ship?”
~Rosalie Hale and Alice Brandon, Misconstrue
It wasn’t like in the movies where the audience would see fireworks, or in the romance novels Alice reads where the couple would feel a spark shoot through them. No. Everything was quiet and still, like the eye of the storm. We were in our own world…until I heard myself groan like a fucking animal.
~Bella Swan about Edward’s kiss, Misconstrue
I was time traveling for Christ’s sake so Edward being a “bad thing” was the fucking understatement of the year.
~Bella Swan, Misconstrue
Years of schooling and studying the English language had been obliterated by a motorcycle riding bad boy with messy hair.
~Bella Swan, Misconstrue
“You just don’t want to be one of those people years from now that looks back on high school and says ‘I wish I had…’” she added. “Regret sucks. You don’t get a “do over’.”
~Angela Weber, Misconstrue
“So are you going to go find him and sniff him some more?”
~Angela Weber, Misconstrue
After taking Spanish all throughout high school and college, I was able to fake my way through that final with a lot more ease. Although at one point I think I wrote that I was turned on by the lesson instead of that I understood the lesson. That might actually work to my advantage though, because Señor Meyer was a bit of a pervert.
~Bella Swan, Misconstrue
“You can let go now,” I added, rolling my eyes and motioning to his grip on my arm.
“So you can find another reason to run off?” he asked. “I think I like my way better.”
~Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, Misconstrue (oh Edward, you are so pushy!)
“I told you already, Bella, you’re the one making this hard,” he responded, closing the distance between us. I wondered if he chose those words intentionally, but then chided myself for having my mind in the gutter. “You know that, right?” he added as he ran the tips of his fingers softly down my arm.
Oh God, I think he knew exactly what he was saying.
~Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, Misconstrue
“I will hold you down if that’s what I need to do to get you to talk to me.” His voice was low and rough, causing me to shiver inadvertently.
God, that’s hot.
~Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, Misconstrue
“What are you doing to me?” he panted softly, pulling away to catch his breath. What am I doing to him? Was he serious?
~Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, Misconstrue
His pelvis was flush against mine while my leg was still hitched up around his back. We were both gasping and panting and I was suggesting we have a cordial talk about the fact that I was an insane visitor from the future who was probably ruining his life. The absurdity of the situation was not lost on me
~Bella Swan, Misconstrue
I was mentally chastising them for lacking the class to screw somewhere halfway decent before I looked around me and remembered I too was wrapped around a boy in a dirty, woodsy area behind a high school gymnasium.
~Bella Swan after a lusty couple interrupt an intense moment with Edward, Misconstrue
I stood frozen in place, watching him as he left. Well, I watched certain parts of him as he left.
~Bella Swan, Misconstrue
“Mom, Dad, I’m sorry, I was…curious and when I tried it, it just tasted horrible. I can’t believe people actually drink that stuff! I, for one, was disgusted so I just…poured it down the drain,” I blurted out. I felt my body inadvertently shudder. I would never waste alcohol. It’s a sin.
~Bella Swan after her parents find an empty bottle of rum under her bed, Misconstrue
Thank God the crime rate was low in Forks and he didn’t need to do this often. He might hurt himself.
~Bella Swan after Charlie’s genius interrogation method of stuttering, Misconstrue
“Today’s a special day?” I asked, teasing him. “Remind me again?”
“I think I reminded you last night,” he replied, whispering in my ear, “and this morning before work and again in the shower.”
~Dream Bella and Dream Edward, Misconstrue (hooooot)
I had always assumed it took years for Tanya to become the tramp I’d come to know so well. In reality, she already was a seventeen year old whore who needed to get her tits out of Edward’s face pronto.
~Bella Swan, Misconstrue
While in theory any movie that involved the decapitation of Seann William Scott scores points with me, I still watched the majority of it with my hands covering my face.
~Bella Swan about Final Destination, Candescence
Fate is kind of an asshole.
~Bella Swan, Candescence
Although I had my dad’s trusty mag light, the idea of walking all by myself through the dark path Edward and I traversed on Sunday was not very appealing. You could come across spiders or serial killers.
~Bella Swan, Candescence
And while I had never gotten hung up on the fact that I was nearly thirty and still single, I would be lying if I claimed I didn’t want someone to share my life with. Knowing that I could feel the way I did with Edward made me hopeful but it was bittersweet. I wondered who he belonged to and what she was like. I wondered if he was happy. He appeared to be in his photo. I wondered if I spent all my time in vain avoiding altering my life when now I had to live with the knowledge that I loved someone and he was out there somewhere. And if I were forced to relive my entire life, would I be able to move on.
~Bella Swan, Candescence
“I went to the bonfire,” he replied as if it was just common sense. “Alice told me that you were going together.”
“Why?” I asked, watching his grip slowly loosen on the flashlight
“I have no idea why you hang out with her,” he quipped, straight-faced.
~Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, Candescence
“There’s this emotionally unavailable, future alcoholic I’ve had my eye on.”
~Edward Cullen, Candescence
“Yeah. You see, she thinks too goddamn much. So I made a decision,” he announced, moving in closer and running the back of his knuckles up and down my arm.
“A…decision?” My inability to communicate coherently had apparently kicked in again while his confidence has clearly returned.
“I’m not going to wait for her to figure her shit out anymore.”
RIP Bella’s brain cells.
~Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, Candescence
I was a naïve seventeen year old and I shouldn’t be rolling around in the back of a truck with Edward Cullen. But That Bella wouldn’t have been here with him in the first place. That Bella would be at home reading Jane Austen and popping microwave popcorn. That Bella hated Facebook because it reminded her that she never took any chances.
That Bella would definitely be peeing her pants right now.
~Bella Swan, Candescence
“Behave, little girl,” he added, smirking.
“I don’t like being teased, Edward.” I warned, earning a laugh.
“And I don’t like being rushed, Bella,” he replied, his lips ghosting over my breasts. “I like…” he began, dragging his tongue across the first peak. “…to take…” adding before moving to the other side “….my time.” At that moment, I was convinced that my eyes may have permanently rolled into the back of my head.
~Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, Candescence
“Bella, we should slow down,” he mumbled, panting. I was surprised by his response. Edward Cullen was telling Bella Swan to settle down? Really?
Sorry Edward, Bella doesn’t feel like behaving tonight.
~Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, Candescence
I think this was what Alice called dickmatized. I laughed when she told me about the first time she saw Jasper undressed, but now I was thinking it might be a real condition and someone may need to organize a telethon.
~Bella Swan, Candescence
I was thinking that if teenage Edward Cullen made me feel this way, the man on Facebook might be lethal.
~Bella Swan, Candescence
If you pay attention to what’s going on around you, you can anticipate almost anything. It didn’t surprise me that someone invented a pill to help old guys get it up. I was hardly shocked when Alicia Silverstone turned out to be a fucking terrible Batgirl. And while the whole world was brought to their knees when the president’s intern was caught on hers, I wasn’t exactly blown away.
~Edward Cullen, Afterburn
I needed something profound, something to let her know that she wasn’t just any girl. She was the girl.
~Edward Cullen, Afterburn
Is this what the phoenix feels like when it’s about to burn?
~Edward Cullen, Afterburn
You don’t fall in love with someone in three weeks. Not in real life. But fuck. She was everything.
~Edward Cullen, Afterburn
“How was your night, Edward?” Carlisle would ask.
“Oh, it was great. I fucked Bella in the flatbed of her truck. What did you do?”
“Esme made lobster bisque. We saved you some.”
“Why thank you, Carlisle, I had been hoping to feast on Bella but since I’m a douche, that didn’t pan out.”
“That’s too bad, Edward. Need to take a drive to the meadow?”
“No, Carlisle. I can never go to the meadow again because of said fucking and douchbaggery. Ruined. Forever.”
~Edward Cullen’s internal monologue, Afterburn
“You realize her father is the Chief of Police, right?”
~Carlisle Cullen seeing through Edward’s bullshit, Afterburn
“You’re a snob,” she replied letting out a small groan and grabbing roughly at my hair.
“And you have bad taste,” I teased.
“Clearly,” she answered pulling away and smirking.
~Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, Afterburn
