Trust In Advertising Quotes
Quotes from Trust in Advertising by VJGM
This fic has very witty banter between Edward and Bella. I’m a sucker for witty banter.
“She’s certainly a piece of work, I thinks she’s just insecure herself so she comes at people like a bull in a china shop to keep you from picking up on it. That, or she’s a total bitch, one of the two.”
~Bella Swan on Tanya Denali, Chapter 3
“Phone, trashcan, plant, and computer.”
~Tyler Crowley introducing Bella’s space, Copy This
“I’ll have the usual, but see if they can slip a hammer into the bag so I can pound the shit out of my computer as I eat.”
~Jason, Copy This (Yay workplace computers!)
“Stupid, worthless copy machine! I have a deadline you know… the least you could do is cooperate, you little bastard,” a female voice snarled under her breath.
~Mrs. Cee, Copy This (LOL, again, office equipment ftw)(PS- Knowing who this is makes this image amazing and hysterical)
Thank the nice man and find out how many more lunches you have to get per day. Maybe you’re responsible for getting lunch for the graphics department too…
~Bella Swan after getting a promotion, Chapter 5
“Bella, I think you’ll be fine. Just don’t let him get to you, the yelling and grousing is a defense mechanism I think…”
~Leah about Edward, Chapter 5 (Yea, just what the new hire wants to hear about her boss…)
“Get out…”
~Bella Swan on finding out she gets a BlackBerry (among other things), Chapter 5
Still annoyed at Rosalie for making her act like a grown up and return to work, Bella began texting her every five minutes once she left the apartment so Rose didn’t have a moment of peace.
~Bella Swan, Chapter 6 (Cute!)
“Leah wasn’t kidding. You are a prick now…”
~Bella Swan at Edward’s less than cordial greeting txt, Chapter 6
Note – I could sit here pasting their back and forth but then it would just be straight copying. Go read it. It’s hilarious. Like, fall out of your seat hilarious.
Congratulations on mastering Google, now let’s see if you can use your brain.
~Edward Cullen being an asshole via text, Chapter 6
“Google this,” Bella muttered flipping her phone the bird.
~Chapter 6
“Please don’t quit. I like you.”
~Emmett McCarty to Bella, Chapter 6
BELLA
~Bella txting a reply to Edward who keeps calling her Isabella, Chapter 6
“So, what can I do for you? Or better yet, what has Edward done now?”
~Emmett McCarty, Chapter 6
“I need a phone number…”
“Hired assassins don’t come cheap, Bella. Do you have enough cash on hand?” He leaned forward and began flipping through his Rolodex on his desk. “Guido the Squid is good and works on credit, but he’s kinda messy. How about Jimmy? You get a discount if you use him cuz he only has one hand.”
~Bella Swan and Emmett McCarty, Chapter 6
“Oh my God. Wait, did I turn down the wrong hallway? Whose office is this?”
~ Emmett McCarty about Edward’s clean office, Chapter 6
“Okay fine, your world is about to explode… so, you wanna get drunk?”
~Rosalie Hale, Chapter 7
Years ago, when she was a swooning teen, Bella had innocently wished Edward would ask her to go to Carlo’s Pizza after a football game with him. But now, as an adult, with very real womanly desires, she watched him stand before her, exuding confidence and power, and Bella wished he’d ask her for something very different than pizza.
~Chapter 7
“Bella, what are you doing?” he managed to get out between his chuckles. Every time Edward slammed a drawer and yelled ‘Goddamn it,’ he started laughing again.
~Emmett McCarty witnessing Edward’s temper tantrum at his clean office, Chapter 7
“The last girl, he demanded to see her elementary school report card because there was no way she could have possibly been promoted past the sixth grade in his opinion.”
~Leah, Chapter 7
“How is my dear friend, Edward? Does he still have that large pole jammed up his ass?”
~Felix, Chapter 7
“Yes, I had an appointment with him this morning in the shower. I also had a rather long one last night in the back seat of the limo on the way home from the airport too. Should I go on?”
~Jane, Chapter 7 (UGH)
“We were nowhere you little snot. Just know Jane is watching you and you really don’t want her as an enemy.”
~Jane, Chapter 7
“Bella will try and remember that.”
~Bella, Chapter 7
All that meant was that she grabbed the food from Bella’s hand as soon as she stepped off the elevator and bitched her out for taking too long, then disappeared in a swirl of smoke and evil.
~ Jane’s rudeness about her lunch “To-Go”, Chapter 8
“Do you have any pink envelopes? This one is so yucky.”
~ Madison “Mini-Alice” Whitlock, Chapter 8
“You’ve got the big suspect board of possible axe murderers…and a bunch of well dressed murderers at that. Is that an original Valentino she’s wearing?”
~Rosalie about the photos of San Fransisco’s elite that Bella is memorizing, Chapter 9
He was still stunningly handsome every morning making her stomach flip and flop on sight, but instead of seeing him as this unattainable God that she had in high school, she saw him now for the man he was, flaws and all.
~Chapter 9
No woman could resist Edward Cullen, no matter how hard they tried, in $3000 Prada menswear.
~ Chapter 9 (Yum, Rob is so sexy in suits…and in tattered jeans…and…never mind you get the point)
“If you used this technique to study in high school, you might not have needed to cheat off of that junior in your Government class.”
~Bella Swan teasing Edward who cheated off her during their senior year of high school and then didn’t remember her, Chapter 9
“Nope, he’s not in my drawer.”
~ Bella answering Jane’s demands to find Edward, Chapter 9
“We? We didn’t do anything Emmett. You are the one up shit creek. I’m simply standing on the shore watching your corpse float past.”
~ Edward after Emmett has dented a Ferrari Scuderia Spider hours before a photo shoot, Chapter 9 (I’m assuming that the model will mean more to someone who isn’t as car illiterate as I am)
“I will be driving five miles per hour under the speed limit just to piss you off. I don’t need you doing 125mph to get there faster and hitting something else.”
~ Edward, Chapter 9 (man that would be torture to half the drivers I know)
“No, he’s not in.”
~Rosalie playing the pronoun game with Emmett after he assumes the owner of her car shop is male, Chapter 9
“My name is Rosalie, Rosalie Hale and if you call me sweetie, honey, baby or any other condescending term, you won’t be behind that eight ball anymore, pal, because it will be shoved directly up your ass!”
~Rosalie to Emmett, Chapter 9
“I think I’m in love.”
~Emmett after Rosalie has handed him his ass, Chapter 9
When she was done with the bodywork, she grabbed him by the ear, led him into the garage and pointed at the car, then shoved a bill for over $2500 in his face and held out her hand, waiting for payment. When the cash hit her hand, she reached down into her bra and pulled the keys from their hiding place deep between her breasts and tossed them at Emmett’s head, then locked herself in her office for the next half hour according to Marco.
~Rosalie, Chapter 10 (Such an amazing visual LOL)
That man is totally lickable.
~Rosalie txting about Emmett in a suit, Chapter 10 (Hmm, not as hot as Rob but Kellan IS entirely lickable)
“I have been giving Jane regular sugar and whole milk in her coffee instead of Splenda and non fat milk for the past two weeks because I hate the way she barks, ‘Bella. Coffee.’ every time she steps foot near Edward’s office.”
~ Bella, Chapter 10
“Stalk is such a harsh word, Edward. I prefer corporate reconnaissance… or intentional overhearing.”
~ Bella, Chapter 10
“Ew.”
~Bella on Mike Newton’s hand kiss, Chapter 10
Who on Earth tells a five year old they are going to be as big as a house? Jane, the psychotic skinny bitch does, of course.
~Chapter 10
“Something tells me that you’re used to taking care of yourself and being in charge. Why don’t you let me lead, and I’ll take care of you for a change?”
~Jasper dancing with Bella, Chapter 10
“Emergency situation. We need to make Jane disappear.”
“Finally! Emmett knows a guy, he only has four fingers but I hear he’s good at what he does.”
~Bella and Leah, Chapter 10
“I saw a few drunk guys out on the terrace, maybe a couple of them are blitzed enough to want to dance with you.”
~Jane to Bella and Leah, Chapter 10
“You ate my Twizzlers?” Bella pointed an accusatory finger at him. “Mr. Egg Whites chowed a whole POUND of Twizzlers?”
Edward stopped and smirked unapologetically. “The bag was open so I’m sure it wasn’t a full pound, and yes, I ate them. Haven’t you ever taken a moment to read the packaging? It’s a fat free food.”
~Chapter 11 (This whole exchange about candy is like fricken foreplay. I have no idea how VJGM did it but it’s fricken…hot)
“If it’s not too much trouble, when you’re done ogling your flowers, could I bother you to do some work?”
~Edward turning back into an asshole after Mike sends Bella flowers, Chapter 11
“Flirt a little, he seemed to like you at the gala. Hell, if he asks you to go on a date, do it. I need an in with Black so do whatever you have to and make it happen.”
~Edward again being an asshole, Chapter 11
“I happen to know your mother raised you better than that. So when you tell me to go fuck Jacob Black so he will hire Masen Advertising, the least you can do is say please.”
~ Bella, Chapter 11
“God, I am such a fucking asshole.”
~ Edward during a moment of enlightenment, Chapter 11
“You can stab me with that pencil if it will make you feel better.”
~Edward saying anything he can to make Bella stop crying, Chapter 11
“Oh God, don’t call Emmett I can’t go to the meeting tomorrow with a black eye.” Edward playfully held up his hands in surrender when Bella cracked a smile.
Bella rolled her eyes as she held up one finger, silencing him for a change. “Hey, it’s me. Edward made me cry. Yep. I’ll let him tell you himself. In his office.” She slipped the phone back into her pocket and grinned like a Cheshire cat. “Your mother is on her way.”
~ Chapter 11
“Nope, your schedule just cleared. Please stay.”
~Edward scared of Esme, Chapter 11
“I just wanted to make sure you two were playing nice and that Edward wasn’t trying to pimp you out to potential clients again.
~Emmett, Chapter 11
“Oh, any chance you would be willing to help a guy get a date?”
“Sure, you want me to make you a profile on eHarmony?”
~Emmett and Bella, Chapter 11
“I mentioned that it’s common knowledge in the automobile industry that men who drive yellow sports cars have tiny dicks. That didn’t sit too well with him, apparently.”
~Rosalie on why Emmett is getting a paint job for the Ferrari, Chapter 12
“Are you always such a baby?”
“When I swallow something that has the same effects as Drano? Yeah.”
~Bella and Edward eating Thai food, Chapter 12
“It’s on the kids menu at the restaurant, Edward. I think you can handle it.”
~Bella offering Edward orange glazed chicken, Chapter 12
And now, as she looked at him from her new found view, she realized popular or invisible… they were simply labels. They didn’t do anything to really describe the people who wore them. They told nothing about your heart or soul.
~Chapter 12
“So do you guys have sleepovers a lot?”
~Madison after catching Edward and Bella asleep together on the couch, Chapter 14
“Do you ever have sleepovers with Miss Jane and Bella at the same time?”
~Madison, Chapter 14
“Language, Alice.”
“Bite me, Edward.”
~Chapter 14
“It’s a Lotus, Bella.”
“Yeah, but where’s the rest of it?”
~ Edward and Bella, Chapter 14
“I’m quite certain, nothing of yours is tiny, Edward.”
~Bella on Edward’s car (sure), Chapter 14
I just took my car out of my pocket and am pulling onto the freeway now.
~ Edward txting, Chapter 14
“Good luck! Break a leg, or whatever I’m supposed to say for an advertising presentation… Basically, don’t suck!”
~Rosalie, Chapter 14
“Jacob and I have been friends since we were pups.”
~Sam Uley, Chapter 14 (lol)
“She’s got fangs, this one.”
~Nessie about Jane, Chapter 14 (L.O.L.)
“And don’t worry. I’ll take good care of Edward while you’re gone.”
~Bella goading Jane, Chapter 14
“My life is better with you in it.”
~Edward, Chapter 14
“No silly, this one is for you, Bella is allergic to feathers. She told me when she got here.”
~Madison picking out hats for Edward to wear at her tea party, Chapter 14
“Careful, Rosie, or I might have to throw you over my shoulder and show you just how much of a caveman I really am.”
~Emmett, Chapter 14
“Your club isn’t big enough to tame me, babe.”
~Rosalie, Chapter 14
“Oh, she was listening. Everyone in the A terminal was listening, dear. Your voice… carries.”
~Carlisle on Esme, Chapter 14
“Maddie, Bella thinks I’m beastly.”
“Yes, but just like Belle in the book, she loves you anyway.”
~Edward and Madison, Chapter 14
“So let’s skip the beginning. Uncle Edward is cursed by that mean lady who turns him into the grumpy beast.”
~Madison, Chapter 14
“I smuggle the grown man cheeseburgers just to see the way his eyes light up when he spies the bag in my hand. I make him a cup of coffee every morning, even though he is more than capable, just so he thanks me in his husky morning voice. Hell, if my desk wasn’t right outside his office I’d probably be coming up with lame reasons to walk by his door just to catch a glimpse of him. I am pathetic with a capital ‘P.’”
~Bella, Chapter 15
“He wanted to kiss you, and what could have been an innocent little peck, he turned into a Gene Simmons-like display of oral showmanship.”
~Rosalie, Chapter 15
A girl could get emotional whiplash around this man.
~Chapter 15 (Aww, Bella. Are his mood swings giving you whiplash?)
“Whoever this is, isn’t very smart or subtle, I think we can flush them out pretty easily.”
~Jane on the mole at Masen, Chapter 16 (big LOL on the re-read)
It was a very big deal.
~Edward correcting his earlier assessment of their kiss after Paul absconds with Bella, Chapter 16
“And then Emmett did that husky thing with his voice, and he asked me to dance… which I should have known better, but he’s just so, big and strong and gaaahh.”
~Rosalie, Chapter 17
“I’m way hotter than him.”
~Edward comparing himself to Leonardo DiCaprio, Chapter 17 (Yes, Rob is 5000x hotter than anyone who has graced the pages of Tiger Beat – ever)
“I catch you doing the ‘Walk of Shame’ and you’re making fun of me?”
~Bella to Emmett who has just teased her about her panties, Chapter 17
“So, Edward, what do you think about polka dots?”
~ Emmett, Chapter 17 (Guess who had polka dot panties)
“My work here is done.”
~Emmett after getting both Edward and Bella very flustered, Chapter 17
She leaned to Aro and a single word passed between them as they looked at Edward and Bella. Amanti… lovers.
~Heidi’s observation, Chapter 17
That man has love in his eyes.
~Heidi’s observation, Chapter 17
“Everyone loves you, Bella. You just don’t always see it.”
~Edward, Chapter 17
“I’m being kidnapped. If I don’t return, avenge me, please.”
~Edward, Chapter 18
“I had a crush on you in high school, you idiot.”
~Bella, Chapter 18
“Locker number seventy-three, we had four classes together, but one of them was in study hall. You’d go to the vending machines and get peanut butter crackers every day and a package of donuts. You always ate lunch outside, never in the cafeteria.”
“Holy Crap. Did you doodle my name on your books too?”
“I’m going to kill you now.”
“You weren’t my secret admirer senior year who wrote poetry and slipped it into my locker were you?”
~Bella and Edward, Chapter 18
“God, I can’t believe I admitted that. I’m going to go drown myself in the bay now.”
~Bella, Chapter 18
“Come on, it’s late. We better get back before Leah sends out a search party or offers to help me hide your body.”
~Bella, Chapter 18
“Were handcuffs used?”
~Alice inquiring about Edward’s kidnapping by Bella, Chapter 18
Bella began scanning the restaurant for the emergency exits.
~Bella’s reaction to Alice’s line of questioning, Chapter 18
“Silent. I like the silent type, Alice… you might want to try that right now.”
~Bella, Chapter 18
“Are you in love with my brother?”
~Alice, Chapter 18
“If he never loves her, she can’t break his heart.”
~Alice on why Edward is with Jane, Chapter 18
“Throw out your back and you’re sleeping on the couch, tough guy. Or, if you have a heart attack and die, I’m going to kill you. Jasper, go help your father in law before he’s sprawled out in your lawn and we have to call the squad. I’ll pay the EMT’s to cut your pants off too…Let the nurses see you in your tightie whities. Then we’ll see what they call you.”
~Esme about Carlisle who is trying to life a heavy cooler by himself, Chapter 19 (GOD I love Esme)
“Dr. Hot Bitch.”
~Carlisle’s nickname that Esme is none too pleased about, Chapter 19
“Mr. C, you devil. You still got it.” Emmett high fived Carlisle as he walked in the door and took a seat at the table, but when he met Esme’s glare Emmett coughed and added, “Damn youth of today. They have no respect for their much older elders.”
~Chapter 19
“I hadn’t heard her speak when I made that comment. I was basing it solely on the hotness of her rack. Had I known the screeching bansheelike tone of her voice, I would have suggested he throw holy water on her ass and run.”
~Emmett on initially encouraging Edward dating Jane, Chapter 19
“You know I love it when you go all Sopranos on my ass right?”
~Emmett to Rosalie, Chapter 19
“Man, please tell me you have Maddie’s baby pool and a shitload of Jello.”
~Emmett after Rosalie announces she’ll beat Jane if she messes with Bella, Chapter 19
“I swear I try to be professional about these things, but man, one pointed due north and the other was doing this weird south by southwest thing.”
~Jasper about Jane’s “wonky” nipples which he had to photograph for a shoot, Chapter 19
“This should be interesting…”
~Jasper on Bella’s bikini, Edward and Jane being in the same place at the same time, Chapter 19
He knew she was beautiful, but had no idea just how spectacular her body was until he saw it lying before him like an offering.
~Edward reacting to Bella and the black bikini, Chapter 19 (nice word choice!)
“Want a wiener, Janey?”
“Keep your wieners to yourself, asshole.”
“Let me know if you change your mind, Janey. I’ll save this big juicy one just for you.”
~Emmett and Jane, Chapter 19
“The camera never lies. I know you can see it. He will too, someday.”
~Jasper, Chapter 19 (I wish these pictures existed. I want to see them)
“This is what I see when I look at the two of you.” Jasper smiled. “And it’s beautiful.”
~Chapter 19
“It’s the little things you do that mean the most…”
~Edward after Bella’s pissed off Felix, Chapter 19
“Are you in the middle of something or can I grab you for a few minutes?”
“Mr. Cullen, I don’t think that would be appropriate.”
~Edward and Bella, Chapter 19
“Until then, they can see each other every day and pretend, pretend to be friends and colleagues, but nothing more.”
~Bella making sure Edward knows that she wants him, but minus the Jane appendage, Chapter 19
“I don’t want to pretend any longer.”
~Edward, Chapter 19
“But keep your left hand hidden or there will be a Photoshopped ring on it by tomorrow, right next to your engagement announcement.”
~Alice after the family has walked the red carpet and everyone was asking about Bella, Chapter 20
The only ‘fashion don’t’ Bella could find with his outfit was the demented woman dangling from his arm.
~On Edward’s outfit, Chapter 20
“And if you don’t stop staring at your little pet, I’m going to cram her into a very small cage.”
~Jane to Edward who was smiling at Bella, Chapter 20
He needed to cut Jane loose, he wanted Bella. More than air, more than life itself, he needed her in his life and not just as an employee, but as his partner, as his lover, as his world.
~Edward, Chapter 20 (sappy and delicious)
“You aren’t going to slap me again, are you?”
~Edward after kissing Bella’s hand since the last time he kissed her he was slapped, Chapter 20
“That doesn’t surprise me at all. If they’re stuck working all day with ball-devouring hags like you, I can see how that would turn them off to the entire female population.”
~Rosalie after Jane has informed her almost all the models she’s ogling are gay, Chapter 20
“Oh, I’m sorry, and you are?”
~Paul to Jane, Chapter 20
“I hear the guys in prison really like a man with a big mouth and deep…. pockets.”
~Bella threatening Mike, Chapter 20
“What the fuck does any of that matter? I’m the one in his bed.”
Bella sarcastically clapped her hands. “Congratulations for being able to spread your legs.”
~Jane and Bella dukeing it out over Edward, Chapter 20
“Do you trust me?”
~Bella to Edward, Chapter 20 (Right before his understandable but EPIC fail)
“You and I need to have a conversation before you go anywhere. Either you get rid of her, or I will. But if I do it, she’ll need medical attention, I can promise you that.”
~Alice to Edward about Jane, Chapter 21
“You’re going to be sorry.”
“I already am.”
~Jane and Edward, Chapter 21
The moment Jane left the room, Edward’s body language changed. He was no longer rigid and furious. As he fell into the chair, his shoulders slumped forward, his chin dropping to his chest. He buried his face in his hands and was…broken.
~Chapter 21
